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Saturday, 10 December 2016

7 Biggest Ever Blunders by the FBI

Part of the FBI's job is to keep us safe. Often times they do. The FBI is an effective crime fighting institution but they make blunders too!

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-- a world... run by criminal organizations, an organization meant to protect the American citizen... is created... The Federal Bureau of Investigation, a domestic intelligence service that serves to protect the United States from terroist attacks, from enemy spies, to protect our civil rights, and to be super-cops, essentially. Thing is though... they're still human, which means they make mistakes... and often. From mistaking a music video for some kind of cult murder, to naming one of their van's public WiFi network "FBI_SURVEILLANCE_VAN", these are some of the FBI's biggest flubs

So what's one of the most powerful organizations in the world to do when they don't have a recent photo of their most hated enemy? Well, the answer is obvious, and simple. Take the face of a member of the Spanish parliament, make a few minor changes.... and Wha-la! You've now got a fresh photo of, looking fly for his new wanted poster.

Fantasy Tape. Shoulda stayed a fantasy. It's gross. Words to boost the word count.

Hey, you know what's really, really erotic? A "fantasy tape" that's so graphic that the FBI thinks it's literally you torturing someone. Oh wait, no, that's probably taking things a bit too far... unless that's your thing, I guess. We're talking about former Tennessee Circuit Judge John B. Hagler, a 65 year old who made a recording of his... darker fantasies some 20 years ago.

Hard Rock is the devil, and your kids are all evil.

It takes a lot, and I mean a lot of intellegence to tell the difference between and cult killing and a music video. Oh wait, not really, no. Unless your the cops in a small town called Burhop, Michigan, who came across footage gathered from a camera attached to a weather balloon that seemed to show several men in black standing over a corpse in a field.

Number X. Pay Your Bills, morons.

Nobody likes paying their bills. It sucks. I mean, who wants to actually give money to the goverment for goods and services? Certainly not the FBI. In 2008, the Bureau "forgot" to pay their phone bill, leading to not being able to answer very, very important calls.

Number X. Yo dawg, I herd you like super-sports cars.

You know what's a nice car? The Ferrari F50. Not saying it's the best car in the world or anything, but it is nice... really nice. So it's no wonder that someone stole one from a dealer in Pennsylvania in 2003, and then kept it for another 5 years before authorities were able to recover the vehicle. First, props to the guy who was able to just keep a stolen ferrari hidden like that, second: Despite being stolen for 5 years, whoever stole it kept the car in good shape.

Number X. Their cyber security SUCKS

Today's technology is constantly evolving. If you find a way of stopping someone from hacking another person's email, back account, etc., they'll find another way to do it in within 2 months. It's just the nature of the game. So it's probably a good idea, if you were the organization in charge of stopping hackers, to review your cyber-threat prioritization more than just once a year.

Honorable Mentions

In 2009, the FBI updated their website to show several agents of various decents and, for lack of a better word, races. Obviously trying to put a "Hey, we're not racist, guys!" message out there, they failed in one aspect. One of the pictures was of a former agent who had been fired after she claimed that another agent and who supervisor had said some... not to nice things.

Ok, dropping the sarcasm for a moment. The FBI investigated the Pulse shooter twice. Twice. And both times they just let him off the hook. This is after he made numerous claims that he was affiliated with Islamic terrorist organizations. In both investigations, the agents concluded that M wasn't a real threat... that he was all talk and just an angry person. Remember these investigations weren't simply "Hey, maybe he's terrorist, go ask him if he is", they were full surveillance, and face to face interviews. Both times, despite M admitting to being very interested in Islamic Terrorism, they just took him off their list.

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